Note that you don’t necessarily need a checklist. As a single person, you can discover more about yourself and perhaps focus on what you really want from sex and/or BDSM partners in the future. This doesn’t mean that you need to have a partner to get use out of a BDSM checklist. You might decide to try something new or scale back from an activity that neither of you really enjoys.
As interests and experiences change, you can update your BDSM checklist and check in with one another. It might unveil an interest or highlight an activity that you’re only doing for your partner. Don’t forget to read our BDSM for beginners guide.īut a BDSM checklist is also helpful for existing partners. If you’re a BDSM beginner, the options available to you might be mind-blowing, and a checklist is a great place to start so you aren’t too overwhelmed. You’ll know one another’s interests and experiences. Obviously, it helps you and a new partner get on the same page. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It is not as extensive as Bex Caputo’s or Scarleteen’s list, but it does offer a look at what a colourful and engaging Y/N/M list could look like.Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. I found this list to be very engaging because of its design. The cool feature of Autostraddle’s Y/N/M list is that it is actually a set of worksheets that are quite visually appealing. The lists consider positions in giving and receiving and ask how frequently one wants to feel a particular emotion: often, sometimes, or never. Caputo explores a few options: Yes – Into, Yes – Willing, Maybe, No. It asks what kind of activities one wants to explore what one want to be called in bed what kind of emotions one want to feel while engaging in sex and kink. It’s quite exhaustive because it covers sex, kink, language, and feelings. There is one for those who are “vanilla” and want to explore their sexuality.īex Caputo’s Superpowered Yes/No/Maybe List.īex Caputo’s Y/N/M list is a bit different from the other ones on this list. Sexuality educator and pleasure advocate Sunny Megatron shares two Y/N/M lists in the link above. Often, these little details are overlooked when people engage in intimacy, so it’s great that Scarleteen’s checklist dives into some of these finer details. Scarleteen’s sexual inventory checklist is very thorough and covers a lot of ground as it discusses body boundaries such as boundaries about direct eye contact. Scarleteen’s Yes/No/Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Checklist. They are great places to start conversations and, when you get more experience with them, you can create your own! Here are some Yes/No/Maybe checklists you can take a look at. Respect, consent and ongoing communication with each other are key points here. If there is a “Maybe”, there could be an opportunity to talk it through further to understand more, if you are each willing to share more.
If one of you says “No”, you can let that go or you can start a conversation to understand more about the person’s feelings and desires.
If both you and your partner, hookup or date say “Yes'' to the same thing, that gives you some common ground to talk more about what that/those activities can look like.For the checkbox ones, if you feel comfortable doing any intimate actions, you mark “yes.” Not into it at all? Please tick "no." When you're not sure how you feel or are still considering the act, you put “maybe.” As for the fill-in ones, please write “Y” next to the action you feel comfortable doing, enter “N” when you aren’t interested in the activity and “M'' if you are unsure. There are typically two types of Yes/No/Maybe Checklist - they can come in checkbox format and fill-in format. There are many different Yes/No/Maybe lists you can use to help you explore different sexual activities and physical boundaries. While this may seem like a pretty self-explanatory checklist, it is used to help communicate effectively around sex, physical intimacy, consent, and fun between sexual partners. Have you heard of a Yes/No/Maybe Checklist?